Dependent Child or Independent Adult?

Regardless of whether you think the health care reform bill (link to actual bill, in case you wanted to read thousands of pages of legalese) is the right or wrong kind of change our health care system needs, there are huge changes affecting pretty much everyone’s life.

I want to focus not on the pros and cons of the bill, but on one of the least insured demographics: young people under the age of 26. This demographic is one of the least insured for a variety of reasons, including: unable to get coverage on parents’ policy, unable to get affordable coverage at new jobs, unable to get immediate coverage at new jobs (a sort of trial period to make sure you’re sticking with the company), and even young people’s sense of invincibility (I’m healthy, so why bother with insurance when I have a dozen other bills to pay?). Under the new law, persons under the age of 26 can be on their parents’ health care policy even if they are no longer attending school.

This change is huge for me because I graduated two years ago, I have not yet found full time employment with health care benefits, and my parents’ policy won’t cover adult children (is that an oxymoron?) who are no longer in school. The new bill, for me, means I can go to the doctor without paying for the whole visit out of my own pocket. But it also means that I’m still dependent on my parents.

The change to allow adult children coverage on their parents’ health insurance raises some interesting questions about when children are no longer children? When do we get to be adults?

Here are some common rights of passage into adulthood:

• The freedom of a driver’s license at 16 (in Minnesota, it’s older in some states)
• The opportunity to have a voice in government by voting at 18
• The honor and duty of serving one’s country through military service at 18
• The (sometimes foolishly) fun thrill of gambling our first dollar at 18 (in Minnesota, it’s 21 in some states)
• The satisfaction and responsibility that comes with our first legal alcoholic drink at 21

Then there are those rights of passage that come at different ages, but generally happen for the first time between the ages of 18 and 35: buying a car, owning a home, having a baby.

And what about being considered an adult in the church? Once you’ve had your confirmation or bar/bat mitzvah you have adult status in your faith – and that can be as early as 13!

Is having one’s own health care coverage a new right of passage into adulthood? Are we destined to be not quite full-fledged adults until we’re 26? Is someone who starts working full time right after high school and gets his own health insurance more of an adult than someone who goes to college or even gets his career started while remaining on his parent’s coverage?

I’ve always thought of myself as a fairly mature and independent person – someone who could take care of herself without mom and dad’s help by early adolescence. But all this talk about defining when a child becomes an adult has me wondering when I’ll ever be considered an adult in the eyes of the majority?

Obviously adulthood and becoming an adult is a process, and for some people the process is longer than others. The length of the process is affected by not only one’s personal maturity level and personal motivation (picture the 35 year old living in his parent’s basement eating Cheetos and watching Wrestlemania), but also by social norms, economic stability, and government mandate.

I’ll tackle government mandate first: by law you can and cannot do certain things until you reach a certain age (see the first rights of passage list above). Done.

Social norms and economic stability are ever-changing factors, and thus are a little harder to define and impose on a vast majority. So I’m going to make some generalizations here, but please don’t take them as the be-all-end-all definitions.

Let’s consider getting married and having kids. Back in the day it was normal for couples to get married right after high school and start having kids. Now, with opportunities like college and a more socially acceptable attitude towards birth control and cohabitation before marriage, a lot of couples don’t get married until their late 20s or 30s. As I said, this is not a be-all-end-all definition – I have several friends under the age of 25 who are married and own homes. This is where economic stability comes in. My friends who are already married (or planning to marry soon) have at least one person in the relationship with a stable income.

In discussing this topic with older friends and relatives, they said they can remember aunts and uncles or other relatives who, after getting married and in some instances after having kids, where forced to move back in with a parent because they couldn’t afford to live in their own home. Were these distant relatives any less of adults because they lived at a parent’s home? Am I any less of an adult than my married friends because in six months I’ll more than likely be back on my parents’ insurance policy?

The new law mandates that insurance companies must allow persons under the age of 26 coverage on their parents’ health insurance, but young people don’t have to accept that coverage. Some will take the coverage because economically it makes sense. What about the social acceptability of the matter? Not that 25-year-olds are going to broadcast to the world that they are insured by their parents (or maybe they will on Twitter). But it’s hard to reconcile with one’s self the complexity of being dependent children when in so many other areas of our lives we are independent adults.

A long time ago a young man may have entered adulthood at 18 by leaving the family farm, getting married, and settling into a new life of his own. Nowadays, it’s much more complicated and it seems adulthood is indefinable, at least not by making one age or life event the mile marker for everyone.  Just because you can vote or go to a bar, doesn't mean you are a fully independent or fully mature adult. Everyone reaches adulthood on their own time.

So is 26 really the age when most young people are able to reasonably afford their own health insurance? What if my career doesn’t take off (or for that matter start) until I’m 25 or 26? Will I be able to afford “adult health insurance”? Should the government or for that matter insurance agencies mandate when individuals can afford their own insurance? I guess we’ll see in the next couple of years how much this health care reform really does for allowing us kids to become economically responsible adults.

Old Fashioned Thank You Notes in a Digital Age

It is obvious that one should write a thank you note following an job interview. In the digital, fast-paced age we live in, what is not so obvious is how to deliver said thank you note.

Case and point: I went on a job interview last week and dutifully wrote and mailed thank you notes to each of my interviewers within a few hours of the interview's completion. Note that I said, "mailed," not e-mailed, but actually drove to the post office and dropped handwritten notes into the big blue mail box outside. I was confident that my interviewers would get the thank you notes before making their final decisions as they had said I would hear back about the position early next week. However, decisions were made sooner than expected and I received notification that they offered someone else the job within an hour of going to the post office.

But what about my thank you notes?!?! I realize the notes themselves probably are not the deciding factor in whether I get a job or not, but the notes were now a bit irrelevant (I mentioned in the thank you notes that I looked forward to their decision and reiterated my interest and suitability for the position). So I quickly e-mailed my interviewers to thank them, adding that I had put handwritten notes in the mail just hours before and amending my "I look forward to your decision" to "I will stay in touch and hope to be considered for future positions." Since my e-mail was sent late on Friday, I haven't heard back yet, but I hope that my "amendment" is appreciated and not viewed as an "oops."

However, I can't help but wonder, 'what if I had just e-mailed thank yous to my interviewers?' It certainly would have avoided the need to amend my handwritten statements, but e-mail seems so impersonal to me. There's something about getting a handwritten note that seems so much more real and thoughtful.

Perhaps the solution is to still write handwritten thank yous, but perhaps within an hour of the interview send a quick e-mail thank you, too. Is this overkill? No, not if you make each version of your thank you a bit unique - for example, the e-mail could be a few short lines reiterating your interest and thanking the interviewer for their time; the handwritten note can include more specific information ("I especially appreciate you taking time to explain X and share more about Z").

Maybe the future is sending e-cards to interviewers and recruiters? Given that a lot of that kind of e-mail ends up in junk boxes or marked as spam, I don't know if that will ever take off. I also have yet to come across a real classy e-card. If you have, please share.

My personal criteria for sending thank you notes is more or less this: send electronically while still in the interviewing process, but always send a final handwritten thank you once the process is over. I've sent e-mail thank you notes while I was still interviewing (i.e. I made it through a first round and was moving on to the second), and later sent handwritten notes once the process was complete and decisions were being made. I've even sent a thank you to an interviewer via LinkedIn because I didn't have his e-mail address, only the generic company address I sent my resume to. But once I had been in the office for an interview, I sent a handwritten note. Moving forward, I will definitely include a third thank you via e-mail a short time after the interview - something concise, just to show the interview I appreciated their time and to avoid having to make amendments to handwritten notes.

How do you thank your interviewers? Are e-mail thank you notes the way of the future? Do any recruiters or interviewers out there care one way or another if you get handwritten or e-mailed thank you notes? Have you ever thanked an interviewer on LinkedIn or Twitter?

A Brief Guide to Shopper Psychographics

Having worked in retail for a little over three months now and having been a shopper for over 20 years, I am fascinated by the dynamics of the shopping environment and the different types of shoppers I encounter each day.

Here are a few key shopper psychographics I’ve observed:

The deliberate shopper: These people have done their research. All they need is a sales associate to process the sale. These shoppers are the easiest to deal with because factors like price, size, color, etc. are really non-factors as long as the exact product they’re looking for is available and on display for purchase.

The unsure shopper: I like helping these shoppers because they have a direction in mind, but need a little convincing or reinforcement on their decision. I work with handbags, so most often it is a matter of weighing the pros and cons of a few different bags based on the purchaser’s intended use for the bag.

The negotiating shopper: I know in some countries and at some ‘less corporate’ stores you can haggle prices, but don’t try it in a chain store. I appreciate the fact that you want to buy six handbags to give to your family back in your home country, but prices are fixed unless there’s a flaw in the product.

The deal, special, and clearance shopper (not to be confused with the coupon shopper): Some shoppers ask what’s on sale before even browsing the selling floor. They refuse to buy anything that isn’t discounted. I can respect that, but asking the question “when is this going on sale” is not answerable. Play the sale betting game like everyone else – and if it goes on sale within 10 days of purchase, bring it back for a price adjustment.

The coupon shopper: I am amazed at the intense need (yes, it is a need for some people) to utilize coupons. I get coupons for my favorite stores fairly frequently, but I use maybe 25% of those coupons. The coupon shopper does everything in their power to use their coupons, even if it means buying extra items they didn’t need in order to meet the qualifying purchase requirements.

The lonely shopper: This shopper is out by herself, but needs a second opinion. This is where my job goes from sales associate to shopping buddy. You’d be amazed at the decision-making that goes into selecting the right pair of nylons for work vs. a wedding or selecting the perfect handbag for a business trip vs. a cruise. Being an unbiased friend to these shoppers not only helps them make a decision, but also makes them feel good about the decision.

The gift shopper: My favorites are the men shopping for their girlfriends, wives, mothers, etc. who have no clue about handbags. Explaining the benefits of a particular bag is enlightening for these shoppers because they never knew how much thought goes into the purchase. Another gift shopper includes those shopping for their younger relatives (wants advice on what is trendy for the grandkids).

The aspirational shopper: These shoppers are necessarily in the store to buy anything, but they like to look and dream about the products they wish they could afford. Working with the higher-end handbags, I encounter a lot of these shoppers and sometimes it’s fun, sometimes it’s just sad. Fun times are when the person is absolutely smitten by a handbag, is upbeat, and almost regrets not being able to purchase the bag. Sad times are when the person is seriously considering purchasing a bag out of their price range and either their conscience or their shopping partner (often a husband or boyfriend) reminds them that it’s just not in the budget. The fun aspirational shopper realizes that it is fun to wish; the sad aspirational shopper might consider forgoing groceries to buy that bag.

In a retail environment it is fun to see the categories in action, and as a shopper it is interesting when I recognize my own shopping habits falling into one or more of these categories. Recognizing how a person is shopping is beneficial to the seller because she can tailor her sales pitch to fit the consumer behavior. Recognizing one’s own behavior is certainly beneficial in making wise purchase decisions and perhaps correcting some bad shopper behavior.

Are you one of these shoppers? Do you know shoppers that fit these categories? What other types of shoppers are there? I would love to hear your stories and opinions.

On being open to possibilities

Remember when you were a kid and you dreamed of being an astronaut? Then you grew up and became an accountant. Okay, maybe this post is not about such extreme changes in your job search. But it is about being open to different possibilities. For example, I went to college and got a degree in public relations. But my job search focuses on so much more than assistant account executive jobs at public relations agencies. It includes, but is not limited to: assistant project manager, marketing research assistant, marketing analyst, business analyst, project coordinator, B2B marketing coordinator, and a host of other job titles at public relations agencies, advertising agencies, branding companies, interactive companies, financial corporations, technology corporations, consumer products corporations, and the list goes on and on.

I think too often college students are conditioned into following one career path, so much so that they miss out on great opportunities or worse they end up with a career they hate. Throughout college I was – without it ever being explicitly stated by anyone – led to believe that after graduation I would go to work at a public relations agency as an assistant account executive. Sure there was the mention here and there about working as a communications coordinator at a non-profit or for a U.S. congressman, but the main focus always came back to writing press releases and developing communication campaigns.

Don’t misread my frustrations; if given the opportunity, I wouldn’t go back and change my major or my university. But I would have listened more to the voice in my head that said, ‘This is not exactly right for me.’ At the beginning of my job search following graduation, my focus was extremely narrow. Now, a year and a half later, I can confidently say that the skills I learned in my PR program are applicable to more than the “typical” entry-level positions taken by students of PR.

The recession and this dismal job market have probably also played a part in my willingness to seek employment in less traditional places – as I’m sure it has done for many people who lost their jobs. Heck, maybe the recession is a blessing in disguise for some people who have been stuck in careers they despised. Whatever the circumstances – you’re still in school, you recently graduated, or you’re looking for what’s next – don’t let yourself be pigeonholed by what you’ve done (your major, your internships, your 15-year career as a financial planner) and be open to opportunities where your skills are transferable and maybe even highly desired.

And since I don’t want to leave you wondering, ‘what does she mean? How is my science major transferable to anything other than being a scientist?’ Here are a few examples:

• Psychology major – understanding human nature is a huge part of being a financial planner or a stockbroker, if you like numbers, too, why not try something in this industry, or get involved in marketing research
• Performing arts major – coming across movie roles is tough, but I bet schools in your area are always looking for great drama teachers or directors for after school musical groups, or if you’ve got one of those great voices, why not get into voiceover work for radio or TV commercials, or maybe you’re a great storyteller, that’s good for copywriting
• Business major – I know most people that study accounting go on to work for one of the big accounting firms, but why not look into consulting, financial planning for a non-profit, or if you’re not a suit kind of person, accounting for a marketing agency
• Engineers – so you’re great with all the technical stuff, but maybe you like writing or events planning, too… why not get into a technical industry through a large company’s communications department or write for a technical magazine
• History major – so you spent most of college writing excessively long papers and decided you don’t want to write history books for a very long time, there’s teaching, working in a museum, your local historical society, not to mention how much government agencies love a history major
• PR/Marketing/Communications people – cross-over! It’s amazing how much we learn to love one aspect of marketing communications when we’re devoted to studying or working in it. Been an account exec at an agency? Why not get into account management at a research firm. Wrote a lot of press release and pitched a lot of media? Why not look into becoming a media buyer?

The possibilities are – supposedly – endless, so explore beyond what you think or what you’ve been told to explore.

Can you imagine living in a less-connected world?

It’s hard to believe that there are people in this world who choose to live without the convenience that modern technology provides us. But this past weekend, I discovered there are people out there that get by without constant connection.

Some relatives were visiting for the holidays, and somehow or another the topic of bank accounts came up. A family member hadn’t opened a savings account for their toddler yet and didn’t even use a savings account for their own finances. I’ve had a savings account since I was born. I can’t imagine keeping track of my finances without the help of my bank (nor could I justify not earning – although minimal – interest on my savings).

Later on, we flipped through our 100 or so cable channels to try and find a football score, and I learned the same family member without more than a checking account has also never had cable and recently got rid of her home internet service. Her family can afford these services, but chooses not to have them. And it’s not that they live in the boondocks and are completely old fashioned either. Her family lives 30 minutes from the city and she works in an office where she uses computers most of the day.

Needless to say, I was dumbfounded. I can’t imagine not having the Internet, cable, a savings account. And I just got an internet-enabled phone so I can stay even more connected to my e-mail, Twitter, and even my three bank accounts! How can my relatives get by in today’s world of hyper-connection and information-on-demand?

I remember when my last living grand parent passed away. My family went through the house from top-to-bottom looking for miscellaneous coffee cans, shoe boxes, and other containers filled with my grandpa’s hidden savings. He had bank accounts, sure, but he also kept cash on hand – probably more than was really necessary. I also have older family members who still don’t do e-mail or have home computers… but I can understand their ability to survive without because the technology wasn’t around for most of their lives.

Then there’s my own childhood. I remember when I was in grade school and my family didn’t own a computer. There was a time when I wasn’t connected to the world beyond those people I called on the telephone. But I can’t imagine being a child these days, growing up without the ability to connect with kids halfway across the world. And I can’t imagine not wanting to connect (at least some of the time) for purposes beyond what your job demands.

There is definitely something to be said for playing in the backyard and creating imaginary worlds with your dolls and action heroes, but once you’re past the age of play-dates and night games how do you survive without an Internet connection? I do like a weekend here or there away from technology. But to live every day without the ease of looking up a recipe, flipping through the latest headlines, and accessing financial statements with the click of a mouse… that is not something I think I can compromise. Cable… yea, I could survive with just the network channels.

But how does someone in their mid-thirties live each day of their life without what has become a basic necessity? Are you 18-40 years of age and “unconnected” at home? Can you live a life without the ability to connect at the flip of a switch? Help me imagine surviving in that world…

Seeking Guidance From the Saints

Today is St. Andrew’s Day. While many people won’t think twice about this saint’s feast day, some (especially in places like Scotland where St. Andrew is the patron saint) celebrate and honor the life of St. Andrew with customary meals, rituals, and prayer. When I saw St. Andrew’s Day on my calendar, I thought about cooking a Scottish dinner (I can’t help but reminiscence about bland, hearty food every once and a while). And that got me thinking about saints and their feast days and why we seek guidance from and celebrate saints.

A saint can be briefly defined as someone who the Catholic Church (and sometimes others) recognizes formally as being exceptionally selfless and holy. Much like religion in general, patron saints can be wonderful guidance for believers. Their lives teach people lessons in being selfless and holy.

As I mentioned, people in Scotland celebrate St. Andrew as their patron saint. Details on how he got this honor are a bit sketchy, but somehow or another Andrew’s relics made it to Scotland and he is said to watch over the great northern lands. And year after year Scots celebrate their holy protector. Looking into what makes a saint a patron saint, I found that sometimes groups of people – nations, members of a certain occupation, churches, people with certain illnesses, etc. – chose saints to be special protectors or guardians. The saint these groups chose is often one who had a reputation or connections with the defining characteristic of the group. I think this is a pretty neat.

When I was confirmed into the Catholic Church, I chose Agnes as my confirmation saint. I didn’t know anything about Agnes when I decided to choose her, rather I chose her because I had a great-grandmother named Agnes and I liked the name. I found out she is the patron saint of young girls, which is fitting for confirmation since at the time I was still a young girl. Looking back, I don’t recall seeking guidance from St. Agnes on the subject of being confirmed in the Catholic Church, but as I read more and more about saints, I am ever more convinced that there is probably a saint for everyone seeking guidance in their lives.

I googled “patron saint of marketing,” and although the Catholic Online Saints database doesn’t list a specific saint of my profession, I did find St. Bernardine in another database. It is said that St. Bernardine’s preaching skills "were so great, and the conversions so numerous, that he has become associated with all areas of speaking, advertising, public relations, etc." There’s a prayer to St. Bernardine that asks for help choosing words of love over words of shame. I can get behind that for sure.

Have you ever set your shoe outside your door on December 5 and woken up on December 6 to find goodies in your shoe? December 6 is the feast day of St. Nicholas who was known for secret gift-giving and is a model for our more secular Santa Claus. Even if you’re not Catholic or Christian or any faith that recognizes saints as spiritual guiders, I bet you’ve asked for guidance or modeled your behavior on the actions of other genuinely good people. Do you give gifts to friends and family? Yes? Then in some small way you’ve modeled your life on the generosity of St. Nicholas. Whatever your faith, or lack of faith, try to find someone – be it a saint or just someone you truly admire – and follow their good example as a way to better yourself.

What I am Thankful For

In the spirit of the week, I am simply going to post a short list of what I am most thankful for this year.

1. Life.
2. Family.
3. Friends.
   
4. Education.
5. Courage.
6. Wisdom.
7. Love.
   
8. Home.
9. Technology.
10. Experience.
    

 And the bonus items:

1. Food.
2. Football.
3. Fun.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!